GANNETT Syndication Service

NFL power rankings: Panthers, Redskins replace Eagles, Bengals in top 10
Not a ton of changes in our weekly NFL power rankings after Week 7, but the Panthers and Redskins both cracked the top 10 after big wins Sunday.


NFL trade targets: Patrick Peterson, Demaryius Thomas among 16 players with buzz
With Amari Cooper already shipped off to the Cowboys, the focus turns to the next crop of stars on the block ahead of next week's NFL trade deadline.


Lakers coach Luke Walton sounds off on inconsistent officiating after OT loss
Walton began postgame conference by expressing frustration that Lakers were not drawing fouls despite scoring a high volume of points in the paint.


A history of Manny Machado's beef with the Red Sox: 'Coward stuff'
The Dodgers star had a drawn-out saga with the Red Sox in 2017, following a slide that injured Boston second baseman Dustin Pedroia.


Bowl projections: Ohio State retains spot in College Football Playoff field after loss
A loss by Ohio State didn't change the outlook for the Buckeyes. They're still set for the College Football Playoff in the latest bowl projections.


Why the Red Sox will win the World Series
With Game 1 of the World Series set to begin Tuesday, there's an overwhelming reason why the Red Sox will claim the trophy over the Dodgers.


Mets' finalists for general manager job include prominent agent Brodie Van Wagenen
The Mets interviewed CAA agent Brodie Van Wagenen for their GM vacancy Monday. He's one of three finalists.


Eight logical trade destinations for Cardinals cornerback Patrick Peterson
Patrick Peterson wants to move on from the struggling Cardinals, and there could be plenty of contenders lining up for the Pro Bowl CB's services.


Registered sex offender police say killed University of Utah student found dead
The suspect wanted for the death of a University of Utah student was found dead inside a Salt Lake City church, authorities announced Tuesday morning.


Coming off win, Brooks Koepka isn't feeling the pressure of being No. 1
Brooks Koepka became the 23rd different player to become No. 1 since the rankings began in 1986.


New York Giants produce another offensive debacle vs. Atlanta Falcons
In a league in which seemingly no one can stop the opposition from reaching the end zone, the New York Giants are on the opposite end of the spectrum.


Heisman Watch: Tua Tagovailoa, Kyler Murray in two-man race
The quest for the Heisman Trophy is now a two-horse race, and neither Tua Tagovailoa nor Kyler Murray appear to be slowing down.


James Harden says Rockets already feeling heat as teams target Houston with tough play
The Rockets, among the favorites to win the NBA championship, are under pressure early as rivals step up their physical game and intensity.


Amway Coach's Call of the Week: Vote for the best decision of the weekend
Tough decisions are made by college football coaches all season. In Week 8 there were many. You can vote on the best in the Amway Coach's Call of Week.


Puck Kid 3: Somehow another adult fan takes puck intended for young Capitals fans away
For the third time in the past year, a puck thrown by a member of the Washington Capitals did not reach the children it was intended for.


Pro Football Hall of Fame to host World All-Star Bowl in Mexico City
For the first time, 70 elite football players from around the world will compete in the World Bowl in Mexico City in December.


Report: Russian Twitter trolls helped fan flames of NFL's national anthem controversy
Clemson University study found 12,000 tweets tied to Russian company, 87% of them critical of kneeling NFL players and the league's response.


Lakers' chance for first win with LeBron James slips away in overtime as they fall to 0-3
LeBron James nailed the game-tying 3-pointer in the final minute to force OT, but the Spurs rallied in the extra session to beat the Lakers


Simulated World Series: Dodgers rally vs. Red Sox bullpen to win Game 1
Matt Kemp's RBI single in the 10th gives L.A. a 4-3 victory in our annual simulation. See how the game unfolded and what to expect in the Series opener.


Michigan NCAA tournament hero Jordan Poole rips Michigan State campus: 'It's trash'
Michigan basketball player Jordan Poole was at Wolverines' game vs. Spartans in East Lansing. His takeaway? Michigan State's campus is "trash."


WWE star Roman Reigns reveals he's battling leukemia again
Roman Reigns, one of the biggest names in the WWE, announced he is battling leukemia, 11 years after he went into remission with the disease.


World Series: Dodgers manager Dave Roberts returns to Boston as a hero
Managers Dave Roberts and Alex Cora will be the first minority managers to face one another in a World Series.


End of Beast Mode? Marshawn Lynch placed on injured reserve by Oakland Raiders
Marshawn Lynch might have played his last NFL game, as the Oakland Raiders placed him on injured reserve Monday.


Dallas Cowboys can't count on Amari Cooper to be a cure-all for offense
Amari Cooper might end up giving the Cowboys offense a jolt. But if Jerry Jones will be disappointed if he's expecting a full-on transformation.


Michigan's Jim Harbaugh rips Michigan State, Dantonio again, doubles down on 'bush league'
Michigan coach Jim Harbaugh doubled down on calling Michigan State and Mark Dantonio 'bush league' in the wake of Saturday's pregame incident.


Reports: Top high school prospect Darius Bazley signs New Balance deal worth up to $14 million
Top high school prospect Darius Bazley has agreed to an endorsement deal with New Balance that could be worth up to $14 million, according to reports.


NCAA 1-130 Re-Rank: Michigan cracks the top four and Ohio State plummets
Michigan breaks into the top four of the college football NCAA 1-130 Re-Rank while rival Ohio State plummets to No. 9 after its shocking loss to Purdue


Brandon Ingram shoulders blame for Lakers-Rockets melee
Lakers forward Brandon Ingram was surprised his suspension for his involvement in the fight was just four games. He has apologized to teammates.


Dodgers' Clayton Kershaw to take mound in unfamiliar territory
Clayton Kershaw will climb the mound once populated by Babe Ruth for the first time in his career.


Fantasy football sizzlers, fizzlers: Trey Burton helping Bears offense come alive
Tight end becoming an integral part of Chicago offense under maturing QB Mitchell Trubisky; Niners RB Matt Brieda reinjures ankle.


Red Sox's Mookie Betts on playing second base: 'If the time comes, I’ll be ready'
When the World Series travels to Los Angeles for Game 3 later this week, Mookie Betts may be moved to second base.


Notre Dame path to College Football Playoff stirs up echoes of 2012 title-game run
As in 2012, Notre Dame is winning the close ones as it climbs the national football rankings and inches toward College Football Playoff.


Wyoming quarterback decision in the air
Sean Chambers made his collegiate debut Saturday in Wyoming's loss to Utah State, but that doesn't necessarily mean the freshman won't have the same class designation next season


Nuggets' Barton has surgery on hip muscle injury
Nuggets forward Will Barton has surgery to fix core and hip muscle injuries


Atlanta United coach Martino leaving at end of MLS season
Coach Tata Martino is leaving Atlanta United at the end of the MLS season


Is LeBron the worst clutch free-throw shooter
LeBron James missed two free throws that cost the Lakers Monday.


Poll: Which NFL team has best TD celebrations
Which NFL team has the best TD celebrations? Vote in #FanIndex!


Wozniacki gets 1st win at this year's WTA Finals
Defending champion Caroline Wozniacki earns her first victory at this year's WTA Finals, beating Petra Kvitova 7-5, 3-6, 6-2


McFarland rants about Beckham bathroom break
A TMI moment from "Monday Night Football."


What the Amari Cooper trade means for fantasy
Breaking down another NFL trade for fantasy owners.


NFL power rankings: Week 8
Take a look at how the NFL teams stand after seven weeks of play in the 2018 season.


Ranking the mascots of the NHL
How do the 29 mascots of the National Hockey League stack up against each other?


LeBron James with the Los Angeles Lakers
After 11 seasons with the Cavaliers, LeBron James signed a four-year, $154 million contract with the Lakers before the 2018-19 NBA season.


NFL cheerleaders in 2018 season


Must-see images from the World Series
Best images from the World Series between the Red Sox and Dodgers.


World Series schedule: Red Sox-Dodgers in Fall Classic
The World Series features a marquee matchup between the Boston Red Sox and the Los Angeles Dodgers.


Get on the gridiron and join our new Facebook Group, 'The Ruling Off the Field'
If you're as excited about football season as we are, we've got the perfect spot for you.


NBA triple-double tracker: 2018-19 season leaders
Keep up with this year's leaders and track every triple-double of the 2018-19 NBA season.


2018 NFL record projections: Will Patriots falter on road to Super Bowl LIII?
USA TODAY Sports releases it annual NFL record projections, which suggest the Patriots and Seahawks will falter in 2018 on the road to Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta.


Global Poker Index: Ranking the top 300 players
Who are the best poker players in the world? Find out here ...


Hall of Famer John Smoltz says MLB needs an overhaul and proposes drastic changes
Hall of Fame pitcher John Smoltz says MLB lacks drama at the end of the season and proposes drastic changes that will overhaul the sport.


NBA win total projections: champion Warriors lead league, Lakers a playoff team
The champions Warriors unsurprisingly lead the league in the Westgate's first win totals, but the sportsbook is also bullish on the new-look Lakers.


Minor League Player of the Year: Blue Jays prospect Vladimir Guerrero Jr. following in father's footsteps
At 19, this son of a Hall of Famer has shown uncanny baseball smarts on top of spectacular numbers during his 2018 rise.


Never miss a must-see moment: Sign up for our NFL newsletter
Never, *ever* miss a must-see moment: Sign up for our NFL newsletter


GANNETT Syndication Service

Exclusive: Donald Trump, buoyed by the campaign, looks ahead to a post-midterm presidency
While he expressed confidence of the GOP's chances in the midterm election, Trump is also looking forward to the possibility of a divided Washington.


Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor announces dementia diagnosis
“As this condition has progressed, I am no longer able to participate in public life,” O’Connor wrote in a public letter released Tuesday.


The rules
Running from warrants and parents, Cody takes to the road. But not every girl is willing to play his game indefinitely.


Man accused of groping woman on flight: Trump 'says it's OK to grab' women's private parts
Bruce Alexander, 49, cited President Trump as he was being arrested after Southwest Flight 5421 landed in Albuquerque, according to an affadavit.


Dow suffers steep drop after Caterpillar, 3M offer tepid 2018 profit forecasts
Stock market jitters intensified after Caterpillar and 3M cut their 2018 profit forecasts, prompting fresh worries about the health of the economy.


Turkey says Jamal Khashoggi 'ferociously murdered' by Saudi Arabian hit squad
After initially denying any knowledge of The Washington Post columnist's fate, Saudi Arabia said journalist Jamal Khashoggi died in a fistfight.


New York Giants produce another offensive debacle vs. Atlanta Falcons
In a league in which seemingly no one can stop the opposition from reaching the end zone, the New York Giants are on the opposite end of the spectrum.


World's oldest intact shipwreck discovered at the bottom of the Black Sea
The Black Sea Maritime Archaeology project says it found the wreck off the Bulgarian coast at a depth of 1.2 miles in oxygen-free conditions that preserved its components.


'Dancing With the Stars': Fairy-tale showmance brews on Disney Night
"Dancing With the Stars" fans were in for a magical night of dances, but one couple's chemistry had us believing in fairy tales.


NFL trade targets: Patrick Peterson, Demaryius Thomas among 16 players with buzz
With Amari Cooper already shipped off to the Cowboys, the focus turns to the next crop of stars on the block ahead of next week's NFL trade deadline.


Meet Rosie O'Donnell's new fiancee, 33-year-old police officer Elizabeth Rooney
Rosie O'Donnell, 56, confirmed to People magazine on Monday her engagement to 33-year-old Elizabeth Rooney, an Army veteran and police officer.


Watch: NASA releases 450,000 gallons of water in one minute
As part of preparing its new Space Launch System, NASA tested a deluge system dumping 450,000 gallons of water in one minute on to the launch pad.


Here are the 5 biggest lottery prizes ever — and who won them
With Mega Millions and Powerball having a combined jackpot of $2.2 billion, here are the lucky few for whom the ultimate dream came true.


This iceberg captured in NASA image looks like a perfect rectangle
NASA's Operation IceBridge captured an image of a tabular iceberg, which looks like a perfect rectangle, during a flight over the Antarctic.


Bowl projections: Ohio State retains spot in College Football Playoff field after loss
A loss by Ohio State didn't change the outlook for the Buckeyes. They're still set for the College Football Playoff in the latest bowl projections.


iPhone XR review: Why you should consider the budget model over the pricier XS
The iPhone XR is the least expensive of the new iPhones. It has many of the same features as the pricier iPhone XS. What are you giving up?


Midterm elections: 5 hot races that could help decide House control
While red rural states will likely decide whether Senate Republicans keep the majority, House Republicans are on defense in suburban swing districts.


Can Hurricane Willa affect the migrant caravan marching through Mexico?
The U.S. National Hurricane Center warned Willa was likely to bring 'life-threatening storm surge, wind and rainfall' to parts of Mexico.


100 best celebrity photos of October
From red carpets to royal weddings, the stars have been up to some exciting things this month. Click to see the best celeb photos from October.


Will #MeToo finally make us question violence against women on TV?
In an episode about a woman abused on a TV set, Amazon's "The Romanoffs" makes the wrong story for the #MeToo era, especially written by a man accused of harassment.


Boston Mayor: Boston doesn't lose to LA
Boston Mayor Marty Walsh said there will be no bet on the World Series this year between Boston and Los Angeles. Walsh said he lost his first three mayoral bets and since then he has decided it's bad luck to make the customary gamble between cities. (Oct. 23)


Schumer: Republican leader Mitch McConnell just made the case for a Democratic Senate
Mitch McConnell says Republicans will repeal health care protections if they win the Senate. That's good reason to vote for Democrats in the midterms.


Presidents sober up under pressures like Khashoggi murder and nuclear treaties. Not Trump.
Nuclear deterrence and US policy in the Middle East are at stake. But Trump is apparently uneducable on the gravest issues facing a president.


Midterms: Sorry Democrats, voters reject your political correctness for good reason
Democrats push for political correctness, Republicans mock them for it, and most Americans are uncomfortable with it. No one wins with PC culture.


Water Infrastructure Act is a bipartisan win for all Americans, from farms to cities
Our new Water Infrastructure Act, on President Trump's schedule to sign Tuesday, is a bipartisan win. We hope it will be a model for others in Congress.


Teen lured girls into relationships using Facebook, dating site. Then he became violent.
Cody Jackson appeared to be the perfect boyfriend. He showered his girlfriends with attention. Then, he became violent.


Midterms: These Senate races will decide control in President Trump's Washington
In an election that is rallying Democrats, the battle for control of the Senate may be President Donald Trump's best chance for victory.


Mega Millions record jackpot is tempting, but the lottery's odds make stocks a better bet
The Mega Millions drawing on Tuesday offers a tempting jackpot of at least $1.6 billion, but lottery-crazed Americans should use the cash on stocks.


United pilot to passengers: We're turning around because our plane's too big
A United Express flight from Chicago to Chattanooga returned to Chicago mid-flight because the ground crew in Tennessee couldn't service the plane.


Hurricane Willa roars toward Mexico
Hurricane Willa has grown rapidly into a "potentially catastrophic" Category 5 storm in the eastern Pacific on a path toward Mexico’s western coast.


October political cartoons from the USA TODAY Network
Gannett's cartoonists from across the country draw their takes on news and politics.


Jackpot fever! Mega Millions prize now the biggest in history
Lottery fever is breaking out all over now that neither of the big lottery games has produced a winner, and the money keeps piling up.


Flight attendant uniforms: from 1929 to now
From the fashion runway to the airport runway: how have flight attendant uniforms changed throughout the years?


Honduran migrants march to the United States
Honduran migrants march to the United States


'Wonder Woman 2': Everything we know so far about the sequel, now delayed until summer 2020
'Wonder Woman 1984,' the sequel with Gal Gadot as the lasso-wielding superhero, has been pushed back to 2020. Here's everything else we know.


President Trump's approval rating hits new high as Democratic lead shrinks in tight races, poll says
The poll found that 47 percent of respondents approve of the job President Donald Trump is doing. That is the best he's done in the NBC/WSJ poll since taking office.


Titanic II resumes construction after financial holdup, plans to finally set sail in 2022
The Titanic II is set to make its maiden voyage in 2022, and construction of the replica is now underway.


Researchers just found a bizarre 'headless chicken monster' swimming deep in the Antarctic Ocean
Yes, this is a real creature that was spotted in the Antarctic Ocean. It's apparently a type of sea cucumber.


Record $1.6B jackpot too much of a good thing for some lottery players
The Mega Millions drawing Tuesday will offer a jackpot of at least $1.6 billion, passing a 2016 Powerball drawing as the biggest in U.S. history.


Read former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor's letter on dementia diagnosis
"Some time ago, doctors diagnosed me with the beginning stages of dementia, probably Alzheimer’s disease," the former justice wrote in a letter.


MoviePass to be spun off by parent company Helios and Matheson Analytics
Troubled subscription-based ticketing service MoviePass will be spun off into a separate publicly-traded holding company.


Don't want Facebook up in your business? Here's how to cut social networks from signons
The entire system of “social logins”---in which you sign into another site using your credentials at a larger social network--deserves a closer look.


Kudlow: New middle class tax cuts 'doable'
White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow said Tuesday President Trump's proposal for new middle income tax cuts is "doable," though the plan "may not surface for a while." (Oct. 23)


Top Stories - Google News

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Sandra Day O'Connor Says She Has Dementia, Withdraws From Public Life - NPR


Sandra Day O'Connor Says She Has Dementia, Withdraws From Public Life
Former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor says she has been diagnosed with "the beginning stages of dementia, probably Alzheimer's disease," in an open letter that was released Tuesday. O'Connor, 88, is the first female justice to serve on the ...
Retired Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Connor announces she is withdrawing from public life because of dementiaWashington Post
Sandra Day O'Connor, first woman on supreme court, says she has dementiaThe Guardian
Sandra Day O'Connor, the first woman on the Supreme Court, withdraws from public lifeCNBC

all 786 news articles »

Erdogan Says Saudis Planned Khashoggi's Killing in Turkey - New York Times

New York Times

Erdogan Says Saudis Planned Khashoggi's Killing in Turkey
New York Times
ISTANBUL — President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey on Tuesday raised the stakes in his dispute with Saudi Arabia over what he called the ''premeditated murder'' of the Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, demanding that Riyadh supply more answers ...
Erdogan Edges Closer to Implicating Saudi Prince in KillingBloomberg
Turkish president calls for Saudi Arabia to hand over the 18 suspects in Khashoggi's killing to stand trialBusiness Insider

all 7,793 news articles »

What Could Hold Back a Democratic Wave? Economy, Confidence, Independence - New York Times

New York Times

What Could Hold Back a Democratic Wave? Economy, Confidence, Independence
New York Times
YARDLEY, Pa. — Sitting at her pumpkin-decorated dining room table, Kristen Donnelly ticked off her top political concerns: pay equity for women, gun control and anti-immigrant sentiment. (Her husband of five years has a green card.) As for the president?
Election Update: Some Competitive Races Have Little To No Polling. That's A Problem.FiveThirtyEight
Interest in Midterms Surges, Along With Trump Approval RatingWall Street Journal

all 1,331 news articles »

Utah track athlete Lauren McCluskey shot and killed - ESPN


Utah track athlete Lauren McCluskey shot and killed
A University of Utah track athlete was shot and killed Monday night, the school announced. Lauren McCluskey, a senior communication major from Pullman, Washington, was found dead in a parked car near a residential hall on campus. She was 21.
'I heard her yell, 'No, no, no!''; Mother of slain U. student on phone with daughter when tragedy unfoldedDeseret News
The man suspected of killing a University of Utah student was found dead late MondaySalt Lake Tribune
A TRAGIC LOSS ON CAMPUS | @TheUTheU - University of Utah

all 603 news articles »

Man accused of groping woman on flight: Trump 'says it's OK to grab' women's private parts - USA TODAY


Man accused of groping woman on flight: Trump 'says it's OK to grab' women's private parts
A man cited President Donald Trump after he allegedly groped a woman during a Southwest flight from Houston to New Mexico on Sunday, according to court documents. Bruce Alexander, 49, was arrested on an abusive sexual contact charge after ...
Man accused of groping woman on flight: Trump 'says it's OK to grab women by their private parts'ABC News
Florida Man Facing Federal Sexual Assault Charge Arising Out of In-Flight Incident While Traveling from Texas to New ...Department of Justice

all 287 news articles »

Stacey Abrams's Burning of Georgia Flag With Confederate Symbol Surfaces on Eve of Debate - New York Times

New York Times

Stacey Abrams's Burning of Georgia Flag With Confederate Symbol Surfaces on Eve of Debate
New York Times
ATLANTA — At a protest on the steps of the Georgia Capitol in 1992, Stacey Abrams, now the Democratic candidate for governor, joined in the burning of the state flag, which at the time incorporated the Confederate battle flag design and was viewed by ...
How the Georgia governor's race could reshape the voting rights debateWashington Post

all 369 news articles »

Here's what social science tells us about that migrant 'caravan' — and the Trump administration's response - Washington Post

Washington Post

Here's what social science tells us about that migrant 'caravan' — and the Trump administration's response
Washington Post
President Trump vowed Monday to reduce aid to Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador if they couldn't stop their citizens from fleeing their violence and poverty to travel to the United States. Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador were not able to do the ...
In Defiance, Thousands of Migrants Move Toward the US They Are Just the Latest.New York Times
Over 7000-strong, the migrant caravan headed for the US pushes onCNBC
PolitiFact Sheet: What we know about the caravan heading to the United StatesPolitiFact
all 2,387 news articles »

At George Soros's Home in NY Suburb, Explosive Device Is Found in Mailbox - New York Times

New York Times

At George Soros's Home in NY Suburb, Explosive Device Is Found in Mailbox
New York Times
The explosive device found in a mailbox at the home of George Soros, the billionaire philanthropist, on Monday afternoon was relatively small, a senior law enforcement official said on Tuesday. The device was “proactively denotated” by bomb squad ...
Pipe-bomb-like explosive device found in George Soros' home mailbox; FBI investigatingABC News
Explosive Device Found in George Soros's Mailbox, New York Times ReportsBloomberg
Officials: Explosive Device Found in NY Mailbox at Home of George SorosNBC New York
New York Times -BBC News
all 888 news articles »

The Latest: Putin says he wants to meet with Trump again - ABC News

ABC News

The Latest: Putin says he wants to meet with Trump again
ABC News
The Latest on John Bolton's meetings in Moscow (all times local):. 6:40 p.m.. Russian President Vladimir Putin says he would like to continue a dialogue with U.S. President Donald Trump despite what he described as unfriendly moves by Washington.
Cold War arms pact hangs in the balance as Bolton meets with PutinWashington Post
Presidents sober up under pressures like Khashoggi murder and nuclear treaties. Not Trump.USA TODAY

all 1,470 news articles »

How to tell which new iPhone you should buy - CNBC


How to tell which new iPhone you should buy
As if the names weren't enough of a mouthful, I noticed among friends that there's still some confusion about what the differences between the new iPhones. Let me help break that down, starting with the most affordable iPhone XR and building up to the ...
Apple Is Finally Fixing That 'Skin-Smoothing Selfie' Problem With the New iPhonesTIME
iOS 12.1 will improve selfie quality on the iPhone XS and XRThe Verge
With the iPhone XR, Apple broadens its 'best'Engadget
all 391 news articles »

reddit: the front page of the internet

What fact could probably save your life?

Author: /u/luciflerfather

submitted by /u/luciflerfather to r/AskReddit
[link] [comments]


Author: /u/Raqped

hero submitted by /u/Raqped to r/HumansBeingBros
[link] [comments]

Stealing from the Elderly

Author: /u/refugeeinaudacity

Stealing from the Elderly submitted by /u/refugeeinaudacity to r/trashy
[link] [comments]

What's up with the Honduras caravan and why are they headed to the United States?

Author: /u/Korea4life

How did this all begin ? What is happening in honduras to want them to depart by such large numbers suddenly? Also how could this have been organized ?

submitted by /u/Korea4life to r/OutOfTheLoop
[link] [comments]

Judge Upholds Verdict That Found Monsanto’s Roundup Caused a Man’s Cancer

Author: /u/davepilsner73

submitted by /u/davepilsner73 to r/news
[link] [comments]

Charging drawer

Author: /u/Botatitsbest

Charging drawer submitted by /u/Botatitsbest to r/pics
[link] [comments]

TIFU by pressing the emergency 911 button at work 348 times on my first day, causing the police to surround my workplace.

Author: /u/marifairi

So today was my first day of work. I (hopefully still) work as a hostess at a family restaurant, and I got the job through a classmate I don’t know very well, who assured the manager that I was perfect for the job (ooooooh boy). I walk in, and my trainer goes through the whole routine. At some point he brings me up to the front desk to meet another worker, when they both suddenly get called into the kitchen on their walkie talkies. So now I’m standing alone at the front desk with nothing to do. Minutes pass, and I get tired of gazing around so I start touching things on the desk. An extra clicky pen. A clipboard. Crayons. Then, my hand rests on a large button nested in a clump of wires, just laying on the desk. I examine it, and apparently some primal monkey part of my brain thinks that it’s suitable for clicking, so I start clicking it. I just stand there for about two minutes, clicking the button nonstop. As I hear footsteps approaching I shove my hands in my pockets and pretend that I was looking over my handbook. My trainer tells me that he wants to show me how to clean the bathrooms, so I follow him. As I’m in the bathroom I hear faint sirens, but I think nothing of it (once again, monkey brain). My trainer gets called into the kitchen again, but this time he is instructed to bring the new girl. As we walk into the kitchen I am immediately met with a group of people with confused, disapproving faces, including my manager and about three police officers. My manager then asked me if I pressed the 911 button. My trainer says “I didn’t show it to her yet” and I nod along, still oblivious. So then my manager and the officers take me to the front, where they show me the 911 button. You guessed it, that’s the button I fidgeted with earlier. All I could think of saying was “Oh, yeah, that was me” (I was surrounded by restaurant guests and officers intimidate my monkey brain). When everything calmed down, my manager took me into her office to talk to me. She explained that while I was in the bathroom, the police came and surrounded the whole restaurant. The officers came in through the back, ready to catch a robbery/shooting in action. They thought that we were in imminent danger because they were called 348 times. After we talked, my classmate, the one who got me the job, clocked in. I explained to her what happened and she was angry at first, and now things are very awkward between us. Also, everyone at work things I’m dumb as shit. I don’t really want to come back into work.

EDIT: no, the button was not bright red and it did not say 911 on it.

TL;DR: I took an extra swig of dumb bitch juice and pressed the 911 button at work 348 times, causing the police to come and surround the restaurant. Everyone thinks I’m dumb as shit now.

submitted by /u/marifairi to r/tifu
[link] [comments]

Today I learned that I'm not a real mother, courtesy of a Hun.

Author: /u/dainslef

For some preface, I work at a doggie boarding facility. I don't get paid much, but I absolutely love my job. Prior to this I worked in a very high-stress call center for a subsidiary of Amazon and developed anxiety and other health issues. All of it was related to stress so I decided to switch jobs to something I could handle better.

We recently hired a new girl. She's young, ambitious and a very hard worker. She's always been nice enough too so I have had no issue with her until today. She tried to recruit me for an unknown scheme. (By her secrecy I'm guessing Primerica or Amway.)

She cornered me right when I'm moving an aggressive dog from his room to his one-on-one play time. "Dainslef, what would you be doing with your life if you had complete financial freedom?" My bullshit meter was going off instantly, but I was polite and told her, "I'd probably be sleeping right now." She chuckles and continues on, "But what about your dreams. Like...surely you didn't want to grow up to be a kennel tech." Strike one. I tell her I love my job and that I enjoy working with the dogs. I try to walk away since I have an aggressive animal in our main hallway, but she follows me and continues her questions.

"But don't you want to be more than just mediocre?" Strike two. I get the dog into the yard and tell her "I've worked a handful of jobs and I've heard these questions before. I'm happy where I am because this place has really calmed my anxiety and the managers worked with me so I can spend as much time as possible with my daughter. I thought she'd gotten the idea with that because she walked away and let me do my job.

About 30 minutes later when I'm monitoring the group yard, she comes in and starts her questions up again. "Wouldn't you like to spend more time with your daughter?" "Well, of course I would but that's not realistic as I work while she's at school. I'm off before she's out and I have weekends off. I spend every moment that I'm off with her." Hun isn't deterred by this at all. "What if your could spend even more time with her though? You could be a real mom who stays home with her kid." Strike fucking three.

I didn't try to hide my disgust, but I remained civil, "I'm sorry? I can be a real mom? I AM a real mom." She doubles back with, "By name only. The school is raising your daughter right now. A real mom would be homeschooling to spend as much time as possible with their kid."

At this I just shut the whole thing down. "I don't know what group you work for but if you're trying to recruit me to sell or recruit more people into your downline, I'm not your gal." She got VERY defensive here and said,"I didn't say ANYTHING about recruiting or selling! We're a network of partners, and you'd have mentors to help you with your finances, insurance and they can even help you conquer your anxiety! This is your chance to be more than you are now!"

I just waved her off and said, "I'm fine being average. My biggest goals in life were fulfilled when I started my own family. I'm okay if I never change the world - I'm just happy being the best person I can be and I don't need mentors to help me be a better version of myself. I know who I am, and I am not whatever you're hoping I am."

Before she walks out of the yard she says, "I haven't even told you what I do!" I sighed and said, "Okay, what's the name of your company?" "You'd have to come to a seminar to find out more."

Needless to say, I declined going to a seminar.

Edit: a word. Words are hard.

submitted by /u/dainslef to r/antiMLM
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Conservative Lawmakers Are Attempting to Steal the Votes of Thousands of Native Americans

Author: /u/zsreport

Conservative Lawmakers Are Attempting to Steal the Votes of Thousands of Native Americans submitted by /u/zsreport to r/politics
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Buzzfeed blatantly steal small Aussie creators video, and get away with it.

Author: /u/artistjames

Buzzfeed blatantly steal small Aussie creators video, and get away with it. submitted by /u/artistjames to r/videos
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My sister and I were separated when we were kids because she tried to kill me too many times. Fast forward twenty years, I took home her third child from the hospital in May and have been raising her ever since. AMA

Author: /u/MomBombTom

So, I'm now 31 years old, my sister is 32 and the middle child. We were separated by CPS when I was 11 because she had tried to kill me too many times and was very honest about the fact that she didn't intend to stop. This included trying to stab me and smash my head in with whatever heavy objects she could find, pots, hammers, bats, etc. She loved to choke me out with the Nintendo controllers until I passed out (another reason wireless controllers are a blessing!) She was also notorious for chasing us all with butcher knives, although as the youngest, I seemed to be her favorite target. She lashed out on a daily basis but it was almost like a game to us. I never knew this was abnormal behavior because she had always been this way. Then fourth grade came along; I can still remember my teacher telling me I was needed in the office. They asked me about my home life and didn't hide their horrified reactions very well when I talked about what a normal day in our house was like. Next thing I know, I'm being told that my ’stabby’ sister is going to live with my dad and stepmom, and my eldest sister and I were being moved out of state. We switched places a year later. She proceeded to get worse under our mother’s care as she found drugs and has made twenty years worth of bad decisions since then. I found out at the end of 2017 that she was pregnant with her third child and knew that she was still using drugs, so social services were called and they were waiting for her in the hospital when she went to give birth. My niece was born early in May of 2018, and with trace amounts of drugs in her system, which I was told is a miracle because of the amount found in my sister's system. Because of this, she was to be taken away and if someone in our family didn't take her, she would go into the foster system. I've had her in my home ever since and because of how the system works, I have to bring my niece to see her now on a weekly basis. That is, whenever my sister finds it convenient anyway. She's five months old and she has seen her a total of six times but, when she does come back in the picture, she pretends like she's getting her life back together and I have to listen to her talk about taking my niece away from me. Even though she doesn't have any of her kids in her custody. While I don't ever really see that happening, there's always just this lurking feeling deep down that eats at me, just thinking about what it would be like to give this precious child back to a mother that I know is sick in the head. I just hate it. Especially because of how much my little family loves her. My two kids and husband adore her and she clearly loves us too already. My niece cried so hard when my sister held her at her last visit and was making it obvious that she wanted to come back to me. Such a terrible feeling to not be able to hold her at that moment.

submitted by /u/MomBombTom to r/AMA
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"You no study, you play with Pebbles"

Author: /u/pierreblank

"You no study, you play with Pebbles" submitted by /u/pierreblank to r/aww
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Found on a page for a vibrator

Author: /u/Clarkandrew10

Found on a page for a vibrator submitted by /u/Clarkandrew10 to r/oldpeoplefacebook
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MILGs (Moms I'd Like to Gif)

Author: /u/rooster_86

MILGs (Moms I'd Like to Gif) submitted by /u/rooster_86 to r/HighQualityGifs
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Amazing doctor strange cos play (@officialherohair)

Author: /u/englishsquarehead

Amazing doctor strange cos play (@officialherohair) submitted by /u/englishsquarehead to r/marvelstudios
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Damnnnn the new soul caliber character customization looks lit.

Author: /u/Erich_saab

Damnnnn the new soul caliber character customization looks lit. submitted by /u/Erich_saab to r/gaming
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Willy Wonka (1971) Theory: New and Not Dark!!

Author: /u/ChampagneOnTap

With the golden ticket scheme, Wonka was trying to expand his company's empire. All five of the children were specifically chosen because of their preexisting relationship to food. Take a look at Veruca Salt. Her family owns a nut factory, a logical business pairing with a chocolate manufacturer. Mike Teavee is an unwitting expert on media, advertising, and technology because of his addiction to television. On the tour, Wonka specifically shows Mike the prototype for Wonka Vision. Although Mike fails the test, I believe Wonka's original goal was to put Mike in charge of this innovative technology. Violet Beauregarde holds the world record for gum-chewing, so who better to help with the development and advertisement of his new Three Course Dinner Chewing Gum? Violet could give some valuable input on the creative process, and she could use her gum-chewing fame to promote the product. On top of being known for his appetite, Augustus Gloop's father is the most prominent butcher in Drusselheim. Perhaps Wonka was looking to expand to a more international market, or invest in foods unrelated to chocolate. Lastly, I think Wonka chose Charlie Buckets to be the heart of the company. His rags to riches story would inspire and give the big business some emotional capital. He also comes from a frugal family, so he knows how to be efficient with finances. It is important to note that Charlie is the only one who "wins" in the end, so although Wonka's original intent was to branch out to four new markets, Charlie's good heart was the end goal for Wonka's company vision.

submitted by /u/ChampagneOnTap to r/FanTheories
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MRW president Erdogan suddenly cares about human rights and freedom of press

Author: /u/various_extinctions

MRW president Erdogan suddenly cares about human rights and freedom of press submitted by /u/various_extinctions to r/reactiongifs
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Oh well

Author: /u/Imaginary_Pumpkin

Oh well submitted by /u/Imaginary_Pumpkin to r/WhitePeopleTwitter
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[Poetry] "Don't touch the trash can"

Author: /u/turcois

[Poetry] "Don't touch the trash can" submitted by /u/turcois to r/youtubehaiku
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To the woman in front of me at the grocery store

Author: /u/peachy__kat

I was beyond anxious. I was three days late for my period. I’m a college student, this could not happen to me. My parents could not find out about this. I was waiting in line at Publix at 9pm. There was one lane open, with 3 other people in front of me. I had an apple in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other, tapping it against my leg, hoping no one would notice. But you did. Once you got to the front of the line, you turned behind for some reason and looked at what I had in my hands. You had a cart full of groceries and your young daughter with you.

You said “Is everything okay, sweetie?” At first I thought you were talking to your daughter, but then I noticed your eyes on mine. “Yea, I’m fine,” I managed to get out, chuckling nervously. I shifted my gaze downwards and I think you noticed the tears welling in my eyes. “Go on ahead of me, honey.” Once I had checked out, you put your hand on my shoulder, and said “Everything is going to be alright. We’ve all been there.” I thanked you again, and headed home. I took the test. Luckily, it was negative. Even still, your small act of kindness made me feel like I wasn’t alone at a time when I couldn’t have felt more lonely. Though it’s been a few months since it happened, I still remember. Thank you.

submitted by /u/peachy__kat to r/TwoXChromosomes
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$2000 seems like a great deal, but you will have to take $500 because I have to add a wheel chair accessory and you are a racist.

Author: /u/HERMANNATOR85

My father passed away last December and was one of the things that he left me was a 2003 Dodge Ram. It had only 73000 miles because it was his spare truck for a long time. I kept the truck for a few months but decided to sell it because it would just end up sitting in my driveway. I decided to list it for $2000, which was $1200 less than the stated Blue Book value so I figured it wouldn’t take long to sell.

Literally 2 hours after I put the sign on it I get an extremely obnoxious knock on my door. I thought my neighbor was having an emergency due to the way they knocked but I open the door to see a man standing there and another man standing by the truck. I introduce myself and try to make pleasantries but he went straight to dealing. The conversation went something like this.

Choosing beggar - “$2000 is way too high for a 2003 truck that doesn’t even run well.”

Me - “Sir $2000 is very fair for a truck that runs great and has half as many miles as my 2009 truck.”

CB - “look my brother there will have to have his wheel chair winch installed and that would bring the cost to way over $2000”.

Me - “I appreciate that sir, and I would be willing to deal a little bit if you waiting a few more days or weeks so I can see if anyone else will offer me what I am asking since I literally just listed it for sale.”

This next part blew my fucking mind.

CB - “I know you don’t want to sell your truck to a handicapped black man because you live in a rich neighborhood”.

Me - “Sir, I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say that, here is my business card, call me in a week and I will let you know if I am willing to make a deal with you if someone hasn’t already bought the truck from me for the price that I want.”

CB -“You gonna probably give the damn thing to the first white person that asks about it”.

I then proceeded to turn around and walk inside my house because he didn’t seem like he was going to get off of his racist crap. The very next day another man, SAME COLOR AS THE FIRST, shows up and offers me, surprise surprise, $2000 because he knew that was getting a deal. I told him about the other guy and he just shook his head and said that he thinks it is sad that some blacks people try to make them all look bad like that.

submitted by /u/HERMANNATOR85 to r/ChoosingBeggars
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Bethesda released a note to all fans

Author: /u/kovaryan

submitted by /u/kovaryan to r/fo76
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Harvey: Trump praises Coast Guard, slams "guys with the little boats"

Author: /u/bigjoec

I frankly have no idea what Trump was talking about at last night's rally re: the "guys with the little boats" who went out in Harvey.

Is he confusing people who actually took their boats out -- the citizen rescuers (locals, Cajun Navy, etc) -- with something he made up in his head about storm watchers boating on the gulf during the hurricane? Because the latter is surely nothing I heard of.


"You know who was fantastic, the United States Coast Guard...

"And I don't know who in this room did it, these guys with the little boats, think they have this great boat, okay. Where do these people come from? They want to go out, and they want to go into the hurricane -- to show their wife how great they are? And then they go out there and say 'Oh my God I'm dead!'...

"In Texas, the United States Coast Guard saved 16,000 lives....

"And next time, all you guys and gals, when there's a hurricane -- do me a favor, don't take your boat out. Just head out of town for a little while...

"FEMA was great, law enforcement was great, first responders were great, the military -- but the Coast Guard represented the military. I'm proud of 'em."

submitted by /u/bigjoec to r/houston
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Go in the elevator before they come out? Get fucked getting into the store

Author: /u/ragingasian15

This just happened.

Preface: I'm Asian myself, but I REALLY REALLY dislike the true stereotypes portrayed by Asians not born in America, but sadly this story reflects upon that.

My local shopping center is a multistory building, and there's an elevator. I decided to use the elevator today, and I waited in line until the elevator stopped. An Asian girl comes to line up behind me, and she's the stereotypical Asian chick you see coming from overseas. Mind you, I also go a university where a very healthy portion of the student population is international, primarily from the eastern Asian countries.

So anyway, the elevator arrives, and the girl immediately goes into the elevator, ignoring the fact that I waited before her (and was standing in front of her), and ignoring the fact that there were still people in the elevator who needed to get off.

She goes to stand in the corner as soon as the elevator is clear, and starts to hack at the floor and close buttons. It's clear she's in a hurry, but not enough to warrant her previous behavior.

I immediately follow and block the door a good amount. There's enough space that if she really wanted to get somewhere, she could still budge pass me as we exit.

So we arrive at our floor and get off. The place leading to the elevator is large enough for two people, but me wanting to get my petty revenge in, I decide to take up the entire corridor space. I walked slowly out of the space, and into the store on that level. But alas! I forget to grab a shopping cart, which was outside. So I stop, then turn around, blocking the entry to the store, and I see her following very closely behind. Like uncomfortably close behind. So I budge pass her and grab my cart, having wasted a good one or two seconds of her life (and having delayed her for whatever rush she was in).

P.S. Having been to mainland China myself, to busy metropolitan areas, I sometimes see this culture, and I sometimes don't. It's always nice to see the latter, but the former....meh

TL;DR - slowed down an Asian chick who disrespected basic unspoken norms.

submitted by /u/ragingasian15 to r/pettyrevenge
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